So it feels like things are changing dramatically right now. Yeah things went really wrong on Monday but I’m not going to be too harsh on myself. I had a set back so now I just have to pull myself back up again and make this happen. However before I was just looking for a job, any job, and the idea of stumbling through life seemed okay, but now I actually have a career plan. I’ve decided what I want for once, not just what I think I should do or what is right for everyone else. Thing is I’ve never realised what I’m worth or what I deserve and now I think I do?
When I look at the world now, I see a world full of opportunity and hope, not doom and gloom. I see myself making a future for myself and not anyone else. It’s okay to like someone but when they start becoming the priority over you in your own life, isn’t that time you have to re-assess? I know that putting someone else first is such an admirable thing to do but when your life lacks ambition and direction also, something has to be done. When I look into my future, I don’t see a named guy, it’s not M or L or anyone else, it’s just me and him. This is going to be my life and whoever I spend it with will fit in perfectly. Trying to please someone else just messes you up and makes you feel worthless.
There comes a time when you have to put yourself first. You have to stand there and say “I deserve to be better than this”. Only once you’ve started to find your inner-self, your self-confidence and your direction in life will you realise that you’ve spent way too long messing around. It’s now time to make it happen.