I lost a friend, a good friend. I never thought it would come to this, I always thought we’d be friends or more but apparently life has thrown another bump in the road. However, despite all the pain and hurt and all the tears I’ve cried, I am genuinely content at this moment in time. I don’t hold any grudges and I’m not angry. For the first time in my life, I’ve learnt to accept what happened and move on. In all honesty, I am happy for him. I can’t begrudge his decision to be with someone else. I hate never knowing where I stand, but now I do; my life is starting the next chapter, without him. Surprisingly, I haven’t cried that much and I’m not sure why. The emotional strain has subsequently made me lose 4lbs though so it’s not that bad. Whoever said heartache was such a bad thing eh?!

As well as his happiness though, I have happiness too now. I’m happy with what I have, where I’m going, what I have to look forward to and most importantly, more than anything, I’m happy with how much progress I have made. It just goes to show that it actually is all about your attitude. I’ve adapted my attitude to see the brighter things in life rather the doom and gloom. It’s unbelievable how much things have changed within the last few months, and when I say that without all my friends and family, I wouldn’t be here. I genuinely mean that, so a very big thank you from me to you.

And that was the moment that sparked the most magical event of my life; the moment I realised that I control my own destiny, and I took responsibility for my life. I’ve been searching for this moment for so long, but however much I thought it would never come, I could never stop looking. I was always trying to make it happen, but finally after my search had ended, the time came and my life changed forever. And every time I remember that moment, I can’t help but smile because I realise that I can do anything I want, I can be anything I want to be. It doesn’t matter how many people tell me I can’t, I can make it happen, I will make it happen! No one can put me down because I know how much I’m worth, as well as being keen on self-development too. Anything I’m not happy with, I can change also.

Finally, the future isn’t cloudy (especially without him) and eventhough there will still be down days, I know that I only need to remember what I’m fighting for and it’ll always make me stronger. At this moment in time, I’m stronger than ever and I don’t regret one single moment of my life because it’s made me who I am today. I’m ready to grow up and move on, and I’m ready to admit my problems and be responsible for my decisions. And with responsibility comes reward and growth. I think it is time I created myself, rather than constantly trying to find myself.

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis


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