Every time I think of you, my heart smiles. It’s like you take my breath away with one word. You stop all blood flowing to my brain making me dysfunctional and confused. My legs go weak and I become disorientated. Who are you? Why are you making me feel like this? And yet, I’m suddenly overcome by euphoria. I’m the happiest person in the world. I’d at your side with you forever, or so I wish. That is my one and only wish. After all every other ambition of mine is self-determined. I will be successful. I will be happy. I will enjoy life. But I can’t make you love me. That’s the sad truth. Whether you do or not is unknown; unknown to me for sure.
I made a promise to myself that if there was any I truly loved, that I would do everything I could to fight for them. And right now, I don’t think I’ve kept my promise. However, one day, I will tell you that I love you. Getting involved in a tangled web of feelings is the worst thing we could ever do. Things have to be kept simple. I can wind myself up day after day, going over and over in my head how I feel about you but telling you is a whole different story. I’m not scared of rejection or loss, I am in denial. Only once you show me you feel anything near how I feel will I let you into my world. Yes, I’m complicated but I’m me and that’s all I can ever be.